I'm no longer answering the door

With the exception of invited/known people, I think only weirdos come to my door or wander up the driveway to talk. Over the last two years there was:

• The kid who parked at the end of the driveway and walked up to tell me, as I sit in the sun, my driveway looked like crap and he could fix it at a discount because he was going to be in the area anyway. Great sales pitch.
• The guy selling meat out of his truck- who came to the back door- and was going to give me a great deal and called me "Sweetie." Yuck and yuck and hell no.
• The woman (I think, I never saw her) who scared the hell out of me by going to the front door (knocking), then the back door and by the time I figured out what was going on had left- I have no idea how since I should have been able to see her out the window. But she left a note offering to buy the piece of furniture sitting on the front porch.
• The religious kids down the street who asked for "Susan" then wanted to talk. They had also caught us at the end of our driveway in the freezing cold to try to chat.
• The women who wanted to read me Bible passages. Telling them I was Jewish was not a deterrent.
• The nursing students looking for empty bottles.
• The weird guy who just asked if I had yard work that needed done- first, no. Second, there is still SNOW on the ground. And third, no. After I said no, he asked for empty bottles. I'm getting really good at saying no.

I think I'm going to stop answering the door, the only good times it ringsWhen we aren't expecting company is when the UPS or FedEx guy brings a present. This is also why I hate having a door with a big window- I can't peek then walk away because they can see me!

Date Three

The one that finally answered the question, are we friends or are we more than friends (don't worry, it's still a G rated story).

So Sarah and I decided to go out (it was a Friday night), but we went out with friends (there's safety in numbers. If i turn out to be a dink, she's got back up. if she ends up being batsh*t crazy, i've got my backup). She brought her friend Liz, and I brought Jimmy and Phil. We figured we'd go to Jillian's and play some pool, get a few drinks, that type of thing. The night went great, although Phil and Jimmy ended up leaving late in the night to go meet some other friends, leaving Liz, Sarah and I to enjoy the rest of the night.

After getting a couple more drinks, we decided to call it a night and Liz drove us back to Sarah's parents house (she was still staying there, cat sitting) where my car was. Liz left and Sarah and I went inside for a few minutes, where she then had the wonderful idea to play with her guinea pig (not a euphemism, an actually guinea pig, alive, not frozen either). As much fun as that was, it got late so it was time for me to go home. When we stood up, I leaned in to give her a kiss goodnight and promptly got hit in the face with a turtle. You see, her mom has these little trinkets hanging from stings from the ceiling lights (to weigh them down) and this one in the room we were in, happen to be a turtle. Sarah of course thought this was the funniest thing ever and couldn't stop laughing. Luckily for me, I've had many a girl laugh at me, so it didn't dissuade me from trying again. Thankfully it worked out better this time and seven years later here we are, me writing about it, you bored out of your mind reading about it...

So the whole seven year itch thing.. is that seven years total, or seven years of marriage, cuz I don't have it yet, but ask me again come November 2011...

Date Two

Instead of waiting the requisite two days to call a girl after a first date, I waited until the next morning and emailed her. Granted, I probably could have gotten up and walked over to her cube, but I'm lazy and love email...

On the way home from work, I gave her a call and asked what she was up to. Her parents were out of town, so she asked if I wanted to come hang out at their house. I said sure, thinking that it was better than sitting around my apartment and I really didn't want to risk hanging out at her place (seeing that it almost blew up the night before). Upon arriving at her house, she informed me that a most unfortunate event had taken place. One of her two guinea pigs had gone to the big field in the sky. Kicked the bucket if you will. Since she had just bought him, she needed to go return him. Creepy huh. So she reached into the freezer and plucked out a shoe box, with the frozen guinea pig inside. Normally, when a girl stashes her dead pets in the freezer this is a bad sign, but as my friends will tell you, I tend to ignore the obvious "she's crazy!" signs a girl gives off and don't see them until after we break up.

After a quick trip to PetCo (it's where the pets go, apparently the dead ones too) to return the frozen pet, we headed back to her parents for a night of Friends and Domino's Pizza. Lots of talking, getting to know you type stuff, followed by not a good night kiss, but a good night hug...

Tomorrow, Date Three...

Date One

On this day seven years ago, my lovely wife and I went out on our very first date. Actually, we’re still not sure if it was an actually a date or not, so we only kinda sorta count it.

It started out with me coming into work that morning, and her telling me that she and her boyfriend had broken up. Sad news huh, not really. So I did what I thought was best, I lied. I sent her an email stating that my friend Sue and I were going to go to the movies that night, but Sue just cancelled because she was going to be stuck at work. Obviously, I asked Sarah if she’d like to go…

And who can say no to my charms over email…

That evening after work, I arrived at her apartment to pick her up. As I get out of the car, I notice the very distinct smell of gas. When I looked over at the house, she was walking very quickly towards me with a concerned look on her face. She walked up to me, said “Hi, I need a hug” and hugged me. I did what any guy would do, panicked and gave her a one armed hug because she caught me completely off guard.

Turns out, the knucklehead who installed the new hot water heater in the basement didn’t tighten everything properly, thus the gas leak. Once the situation was under control and the proper authorities alerted (landlord etc) we headed out to the movies.

E.T. was on the docket. They had just re-released it, and neither of us had seen it since we were kids, so we figured why not. After a nice walk around the Common, we headed into the theater for the movie.

The rest of the night was pretty much a normal evening. I drove her home, and that was that. No kiss, which leads us to believe it wasn’t a real date, just a predate…

I’ll tell you what though, I went home pretty darn happy. This girl who was way out of my league liked me, and wanted to go out again. Holy Crap! So what did I do? I broke every rule in the guy handbook. I went out with her again the next night…

Tune in tomorrow for Date 2…

Lebron on 60 Minutes

Check out this shot.

It drives me crazy because as a Celtics fan, I want to hate the guy, but I can't seem to muster it up. Sure he's got no mid range game yet, but the guys only 23-24 years old... scary stuff...

Sad News

Very sad news actually. Our beloved laptop died. Seems that the hard drive went bye bye and doesn't plan on coming back. Anyone out there want to take a stab at fixing it?

No more surfing the net while watching tv. No more blogging from the couch. No more logging onto imdb.com while watching tv to see what other shows "that guy" was one. From now on, it's back into the office to use the desk top.

We're thinking of putting it in the freezer to have it cryogenicly frozen until the technology is available to resurrect it...

Thoughts

• I think I'm an idiot. Well.. I know I am.. but that being said, I don't think I'm using the elliptical machine at the gym right. All these people using them, friends buying them.. but I just don't get it. I barely break a sweat when using them, and the only place I can actually feel it, is right above my knees. I understand the whole low impact thing, but it doesn't actually seem to do anything for you...
• We need to band together and come to a consensus on something. COB (close of business) and EOD (end of day). Pick one please. We, as a working, emailing society can't have both. Close of business is what? Five pm? Eastern time or Pacific time? End of day is what, midnight? I'm just saying, some clarification would be nice..
• Anyone interested? I know I am... and I need a partner...
• Saturday...8:30-9:30pm... Earth Hour.. who's in? Shut off your lights for an hour. Bust out the flashlight, tell some ghost stories. Bust out the candles, let the sexytime begin... and the best part is you're doing your part to help out a bigger cause...

Weekend Thoughts

The bathroom now has a sink! No more washing your hands in the kitchen sink... from now on, it's all high class here at the Morrissey household. All of our bathrooms now have sinks...

Before...nothing more than a hole in the ground, where the dryer vent used to be...

After...a beautiful little sink. We still need to do some touch up painting and redo the floor, but otherwise we're good to go.A friend of mine from work came over and gave me a hand with the installation. Actually, it was more like I gave him a hand. He's the professional after all. The good part is though, I learned how to run plumbing, so we won't have to hire anyone in the next house either. What bugs me though, is how expenisve faucets are. The pedestal and sink cost $49, the faucet (which was one of the cheaper ones they had) was $60. That's really some sort of racket they've got going on over there...

The weekend itself was really busy otherwise. We didn't do much in the way of fun, but we were ultra productive. And I finally got that shelf in the kitchen to stay up, it just took a bigger anchor.

No more big projects left to do, just little things to finish up now...

Surprisingly enough , I haven't been watching a whole lot of the NCAA tournament this year either. It's actually kinda sad. One of my favorite days of the year, is the Thursday the tourney starts, where we skip out of work early to head to a bar for the day/night. Since we moved to Maine I haven't done that, and it really sucks... ooh well, maybe next year.

The wife and I did have a major breakthrough though. As odd as it sounds, we both actually enjoy going food shopping. Problem is, we both like going alone, mostly because we have two very distinct styles. I know what I want, I'm in and out, nothing all that different week to week. She's more of a list person, taking her time walking up and down the isles thinking about every future purchase. So we came to an agreement, we'll rotate week to week. That way we're both happy, and we cut that one fight out of our weekly routine...

Ok, time for the Amazing Race...

The Kitchen

Before anything else, I have to give total credit to my lovely wife who easily did 75% of the work in the kitchen. She painted all the cabinets and most of the walls (all i did was the trim) while I was at work, and she even installed the island herself. I put up the shelves, but that's like 20 minutes of work. So all the credit has to go to Sarah... or as she's now calling herself Sarah Villa...

Excuse the mess.. but this is the view from the back door into the kitchen. Everything just looks soooo much nicer than it did when we bought the place...

And this is the new island. What do you think? There's going to be a third shelf up, but it wouldn't level out, so we had to take it down temporarily. And it wasn't me, everything was being held into the wall properly, it was the metal arms of the shelf bracket tilting down slightly...

Having the island (or more appropriately put, the peninsula, as it is actually attached to the wall) gives us so much more counter space, which we were sorely lacking and some more storage space which we definitely needed too.

We also finally got around to stacking the washer and dryer so we can put in a sink this weekend. One small issue though. Because of the staircase above the bathroom, there isn't a whole lot of room to stack them, so this is the best we could do...

Just think thin thoughts... it's actually not that bad, there's more room there than it looks, and we really had no choice as we have to add that sink. Seriously, who has a bathroom with no sink. And there's really no other place in the house to put the washer and dryer...

So there you have it, our new kitchen. Pretty darn nice huh... and all the credit goes to move lovely, handy wife....

New Drink

The wife and I hit McDonald's for dinner last night and while there they were giving out samples of their new coffees. I hate to admit it, but it was actually really good... well mostly really good except for that whole milk part (why is it that theses places, mcdonalds/dunkin donuts, don't carry soy milk? if you ask me, that's discrimination). It kinda feels wrong to buy coffee at McDonald's, but after trying it, it doesn't feel so wrong anymore. And as an added bonus, it's like half the price of Starbucks...

Riddle Me This Batman...

If you walked into a barber shop/hair salon, and everyone working there had a bad haircut, would you get your haircut there?

I ask this question because I've noticed a trend at the gym. All the employees aren't exactly in the the best of shape (which is fine, cuz neither am i), and every morning when I walk in at 6:30am, they're eating McMuffins and hash browns. The gym also has free bagels in the morning and free pizza at night the first Monday of every month. Isn't a gym supposed to be a healthy place? Is it wrong of me to think that gym employees should at least pretend to care?

Don't get me wrong, I love me a bacon and egg McGriddle, but if I worked at a gym I don't think I'd sit at the reception desk eating it...just seems wrong to me...

A Miscommunication: or WTF are you talking abou

The boy always gets to tell stories from his side- usually while mocking me a bit... Now it is my turn!
The setting: Target. The boy goes to look at USB cables for the webcam so that it can be hooked up to the desktop computer- although it is for the laptop- the cord we have is too short. He meets up with me empty handed. The conversation that follows felt like a round of "Who's on First."
J: "They didn't have extender cables, just longer ones."
S: "Um, don't we need a longer cable?"
J: "They don't have extenders, just longer ones."
S: "What's an extender and how is it different then a longer cable? Isn't it just like an extension cord?"
J: "Extender cables don't exist, all they have are longer cables."

(translation- we can buy a whole new longer cord for the webcam, and toss the existing one, but he was not able to find one that would connect to the cord we have and then reach the computer) Uh, huh... and I'm accused of being the unclear one... Needless to say the webcam still doesn't have a cord that is long enough to reach the CPU, so that will be another trip for another day.

The Weekend

Good, fun, refreshing, productive, much needed weekend was had...

Friday we had chinese food for dinner which is great because it means I also had chinese for lunch Saturday and Sunday.

Saturday was spent working around the house, cleaning etc, followed by another great night of dinner and karoke (with a little Rock Band thrown in) with the family. Two things about karoake: first, I'm not nearly as bad at the Rock Band drums as I thought I'd be. Second, I think I found my go to karaoke song. Well, maybe two go to songs. Wake Me Up Before You Go Go by Wham and I Want To Know Know What Love Is by Foreigner. Sad I know. But man can I rock them out...

Also.. had a couple glasses of port followed by a glass of white port after I got home Saturday night. I always forget just how much I like port, it's really an underrated drink. And speaking of drinks, I've been trying a lot of the Arcadia Ales products lately. If you get the chance and see them in the store, I recommend the Double IPA...

The kitchen is just about done. Some new shelves were put in and the island will be completed tomorrow. I gotta say, it makes the room look 1000x better...

We went for a walk today.. temperature hit 50 outside. This haaaas to mean spring is on the way right? The sky has been full of flocks of birds and the cats are shedding like crazy. That's natures way of saying no more winter, right? Please tell me I'm right...

So we got kinda sorta matched again (adoption matched). African American twin boys, due in three weeks. Twins are something we're definitely on board with too. Ideal situation is twins, one boy one girl, but this is would have been close enough. Problem is we had to say no. WAAAAAY too expensive, which just stinks. We told her that if they can't find a placement and are willing to lower the price, we're in. How messed up is that though? Ooh well, at least we know people are still viewing us etc...

And finally, I know I said it before, but for my money there's nothing funnier than American Funniest Home Videos on a quiet Sunday night...perfection really...

Live And Learn

So I learned a couple new things today... first, Bangor has a city forest...who knew?! Second, apparently there's an owl attacking people in the said forest.

Papa John's is running a new promotion. They're advertising that their new pepperoni pizza is just loaded with pepperoni with a total of 84 pieces per pizza. I'm tempted to get it just to count the amount of slices, but then I remembered that their pizza was gross...

To Go Or Not To Go

So I had a moment this morning...

That moment where I'm laying in bed thinking that I really don't want to get up and go to the gym... so maybe I can just grab my stuff, go down stairs and watch tv quietly. Keep the volume so low I can barely hear it from six feet away. Then around the time I usually get back, I can sneak out the back door, open and close the car door (so it sounds like I'm just pulling back into the driveway), and let myself back in the front door. Go upstairs, shower etc, just like I do every morning. That way, the wife would think that I went to the gym so I wouldn't feel guilty for not going...

Or I could just drag my lazy arse out of bed and to the gym...which I did. Pretty sad huh...

Somebody Has A Case Of The Tuesdays

Is it Friday yet? I just want the weekend to hurry up and get here please..

So the wife bought some Italian ice today at the grocery store. I'm sitting here eating one, watching The Biggest Loser, and I get to the bottom. Now remember when you were a kid, and the bottom was the best part (my mom always bought Luigi's, still in my mind the best there is)? It was like that gooey ice that had a completely different texture from the rest of the ice, and all the syrup had settled down there so it was extra tasty. Yeah, this is some brand called Linda's. Tasty yes, but no gooey bottom, no best part! Very disappointing...

Saturday we were in Boston. As you know, it was like 62 degrees there. This morning when I left the house for the gym, it was 12 degrees out. I gotta say I'm done with winter. D.O.N.E..done. Spring can't come soon enough..

Another Day

So we were in Boston for the weekend. Saw lots of people we haven't seen in a while and even got to meet a new wee one, little Hannah. I would post pictures, but our camera is still being fixed so we don't have any. Hopefully it'll be back soon.

Anyway, not much else going on really. We bought new counter tops for the kitchen, and we'll be installing them this weekend so we'll post pictures when it's done. After that the kitchen will be done and we'll just have the 1/2 bath left to do. Finally almost done redoing the house...finally...

Really though, not a whole lot going on up here in Maine. Kinda sad huh. I wish I had something more interesting to comment on, but I really don't. Sorry to disappoint...

Get Busy Living, Or Get Busy Dying

Sorry, we watched Shawshank tonight..

Anyway, so lately on the radio, the Freemasons have been running ads basically begging people to join. Since when do olden times secret societies advertise for members? You know the economy is bad when people won't even join free secret societies...

Why? I Just Don't Understand..

So it happened this morning... something I've been dreading for a while now. Something just completely uncalled for. I walked into the the locker at the gym and a guy walked by me towards the shower with the towel over his shoulder, not around his waist! I just don't understand this, why is this ok?!?!? When in a locker room, the towel goes around your waist people! If your shoulder is that cold, get a second towel! I appreciate your self confidence, but I really don't need you to flaunt it, especially at 6:30 in the morning...

Book Review

So the wife loves the library. She's there once a week, and comes home with more books than she can carry. Being unemployed, she has plenty of time to read...

The other day, she finished a book and recommended that I read it. The book, The Kid: What Happened After My Boyfriend And I Decided To Get Pregnant, is about a couple in Seattle who decide to adopt (the author wrote it about his and his boyfriends experience back in the 90's). In case you couldn't tell from the title, the couple in question are gay. The author is a sex advice columnist and it shows in some of his writing in a very funny way. So right off the bat, not all their experiences are the same as ours, but I've gotta say that the majority of the book was dead on. The first sixty or so pages were more or less about them being gay and the concerns that come along with that and adopting (will they not get picked because of it, etc), but once you get through that part, it's really an accurate description of what the wife and I have gone through, are going through and will go through (hopefully). It's a quick read, only about 250 pages, but if any of you were wondering what it's like to be us, then I'd recommend it.

Not all their experiences will parallel ours, but the overall feel of the book was fun. It's good to know that we're not the only ones out there feeling the way we do about the whole situation. And by that I mean still jumping everytime the phone rings...

Thoughts and Questions

• So I'm looking for some suggestions from my loyal reader(s). I'm sick of the playlist I listen to while at the gym, so I'm looking for some song suggestions from everyone out there. Preferably upbeat, fun music. Lil' help?
• We went bowling Saturday night with the rest of the Maine relatives. Lots and lots of fun. First game, I lost to the wife, so per our bet, I had to wear the french maid outfit that night, and I really don't have the legs for it. I did manage to win the next two games though, putting me in my rightful place at the top. Halfway thru the second string, the wife, my cousins and I looked up and my two uncles were gone. Where were they you ask? The bar maybe? Nope, they were at the arcade playing video games...
• Why do restaurants (specifically fast food) advertise in areas where they aren't located. Little Caesars, Sonic, Red Robin, Red Lobster, Jack in the Box... none of these places are even remotely close to us, yet they still advertise. Is it so that if someday we happen to be in a city that has one of these places, we'll choose them over Burger King?
• We're expecting another 10 or so inches of snow tonight. I don't know about you guys, but I am soooo ready for spring.