I'm no longer answering the door

With the exception of invited/known people, I think only weirdos come to my door or wander up the driveway to talk. Over the last two years there was:

• The kid who parked at the end of the driveway and walked up to tell me, as I sit in the sun, my driveway looked like crap and he could fix it at a discount because he was going to be in the area anyway. Great sales pitch.
• The guy selling meat out of his truck- who came to the back door- and was going to give me a great deal and called me "Sweetie." Yuck and yuck and hell no.
• The woman (I think, I never saw her) who scared the hell out of me by going to the front door (knocking), then the back door and by the time I figured out what was going on had left- I have no idea how since I should have been able to see her out the window. But she left a note offering to buy the piece of furniture sitting on the front porch.
• The religious kids down the street who asked for "Susan" then wanted to talk. They had also caught us at the end of our driveway in the freezing cold to try to chat.
• The women who wanted to read me Bible passages. Telling them I was Jewish was not a deterrent.
• The nursing students looking for empty bottles.
• The weird guy who just asked if I had yard work that needed done- first, no. Second, there is still SNOW on the ground. And third, no. After I said no, he asked for empty bottles. I'm getting really good at saying no.

I think I'm going to stop answering the door, the only good times it ringsWhen we aren't expecting company is when the UPS or FedEx guy brings a present. This is also why I hate having a door with a big window- I can't peek then walk away because they can see me!

Date Three

The one that finally answered the question, are we friends or are we more than friends (don't worry, it's still a G rated story).

So Sarah and I decided to go out (it was a Friday night), but we went out with friends (there's safety in numbers. If i turn out to be a dink, she's got back up. if she ends up being batsh*t crazy, i've got my backup). She brought her friend Liz, and I brought Jimmy and Phil. We figured we'd go to Jillian's and play some pool, get a few drinks, that type of thing. The night went great, although Phil and Jimmy ended up leaving late in the night to go meet some other friends, leaving Liz, Sarah and I to enjoy the rest of the night.

After getting a couple more drinks, we decided to call it a night and Liz drove us back to Sarah's parents house (she was still staying there, cat sitting) where my car was. Liz left and Sarah and I went inside for a few minutes, where she then had the wonderful idea to play with her guinea pig (not a euphemism, an actually guinea pig, alive, not frozen either). As much fun as that was, it got late so it was time for me to go home. When we stood up, I leaned in to give her a kiss goodnight and promptly got hit in the face with a turtle. You see, her mom has these little trinkets hanging from stings from the ceiling lights (to weigh them down) and this one in the room we were in, happen to be a turtle. Sarah of course thought this was the funniest thing ever and couldn't stop laughing. Luckily for me, I've had many a girl laugh at me, so it didn't dissuade me from trying again. Thankfully it worked out better this time and seven years later here we are, me writing about it, you bored out of your mind reading about it...

So the whole seven year itch thing.. is that seven years total, or seven years of marriage, cuz I don't have it yet, but ask me again come November 2011...

Date Two

Instead of waiting the requisite two days to call a girl after a first date, I waited until the next morning and emailed her. Granted, I probably could have gotten up and walked over to her cube, but I'm lazy and love email...

On the way home from work, I gave her a call and asked what she was up to. Her parents were out of town, so she asked if I wanted to come hang out at their house. I said sure, thinking that it was better than sitting around my apartment and I really didn't want to risk hanging out at her place (seeing that it almost blew up the night before). Upon arriving at her house, she informed me that a most unfortunate event had taken place. One of her two guinea pigs had gone to the big field in the sky. Kicked the bucket if you will. Since she had just bought him, she needed to go return him. Creepy huh. So she reached into the freezer and plucked out a shoe box, with the frozen guinea pig inside. Normally, when a girl stashes her dead pets in the freezer this is a bad sign, but as my friends will tell you, I tend to ignore the obvious "she's crazy!" signs a girl gives off and don't see them until after we break up.

After a quick trip to PetCo (it's where the pets go, apparently the dead ones too) to return the frozen pet, we headed back to her parents for a night of Friends and Domino's Pizza. Lots of talking, getting to know you type stuff, followed by not a good night kiss, but a good night hug...

Tomorrow, Date Three...

Date One

On this day seven years ago, my lovely wife and I went out on our very first date. Actually, we’re still not sure if it was an actually a date or not, so we only kinda sorta count it.

It started out with me coming into work that morning, and her telling me that she and her boyfriend had broken up. Sad news huh, not really. So I did what I thought was best, I lied. I sent her an email stating that my friend Sue and I were going to go to the movies that night, but Sue just cancelled because she was going to be stuck at work. Obviously, I asked Sarah if she’d like to go…

And who can say no to my charms over email…

That evening after work, I arrived at her apartment to pick her up. As I get out of the car, I notice the very distinct smell of gas. When I looked over at the house, she was walking very quickly towards me with a concerned look on her face. She walked up to me, said “Hi, I need a hug” and hugged me. I did what any guy would do, panicked and gave her a one armed hug because she caught me completely off guard.

Turns out, the knucklehead who installed the new hot water heater in the basement didn’t tighten everything properly, thus the gas leak. Once the situation was under control and the proper authorities alerted (landlord etc) we headed out to the movies.

E.T. was on the docket. They had just re-released it, and neither of us had seen it since we were kids, so we figured why not. After a nice walk around the Common, we headed into the theater for the movie.

The rest of the night was pretty much a normal evening. I drove her home, and that was that. No kiss, which leads us to believe it wasn’t a real date, just a predate…

I’ll tell you what though, I went home pretty darn happy. This girl who was way out of my league liked me, and wanted to go out again. Holy Crap! So what did I do? I broke every rule in the guy handbook. I went out with her again the next night…

Tune in tomorrow for Date 2…

Lebron on 60 Minutes

Check out this shot.

It drives me crazy because as a Celtics fan, I want to hate the guy, but I can't seem to muster it up. Sure he's got no mid range game yet, but the guys only 23-24 years old... scary stuff...

Sad News

Very sad news actually. Our beloved laptop died. Seems that the hard drive went bye bye and doesn't plan on coming back. Anyone out there want to take a stab at fixing it?

No more surfing the net while watching tv. No more blogging from the couch. No more logging onto imdb.com while watching tv to see what other shows "that guy" was one. From now on, it's back into the office to use the desk top.

We're thinking of putting it in the freezer to have it cryogenicly frozen until the technology is available to resurrect it...

Thoughts

• I think I'm an idiot. Well.. I know I am.. but that being said, I don't think I'm using the elliptical machine at the gym right. All these people using them, friends buying them.. but I just don't get it. I barely break a sweat when using them, and the only place I can actually feel it, is right above my knees. I understand the whole low impact thing, but it doesn't actually seem to do anything for you...
• We need to band together and come to a consensus on something. COB (close of business) and EOD (end of day). Pick one please. We, as a working, emailing society can't have both. Close of business is what? Five pm? Eastern time or Pacific time? End of day is what, midnight? I'm just saying, some clarification would be nice..
• Anyone interested? I know I am... and I need a partner...
• Saturday...8:30-9:30pm... Earth Hour.. who's in? Shut off your lights for an hour. Bust out the flashlight, tell some ghost stories. Bust out the candles, let the sexytime begin... and the best part is you're doing your part to help out a bigger cause...