Things That Make You Go Hmmmm

So as I was driving up to Maine on Friday I heard "Stairway To Heaven" on the radio. Whens the last time you heard that song? Remember back in your middle school days, when they'd play it at a school dance? On one hand it was fantastic because it was like a seven minute slow song, thus giving you a good four or five minutes to maybe graze a boob. On the other hand, right at the end it would suddenly stop being a slow song and get all fast! This was perhaps the worst thing ever as a guy like me had absolutely no idea how to go from slow dancing (awkward enough as it was, even with room between us for the holy ghost) to regular dancing, as most boys (never mind middle school boys) have ZERO rhythm. So the question was then, was dancing to Stairway worth it? I say yes...

I also had a second, completely unrelated question. Everyone knows what a bidet is right? If you don't, here it is.. So my question is this, how does one move from the toilet to the bidet? Do you finish your business and just shuffle on over? Do you readjust and fasten everything, step over and unfasten everything? I've never used one, never had the urge to use one, but how to use one has always perplexed me...