I Am A Six Machine!

So let's see. Memorial Day weekend, a weekend that should be spent outside, at bbq's, hanging out with friends and family. Yeah, we did that, but not enough of it.

Friday was a night spent in. Chinese food and asleep on the couch at 9:30 while watching the Simpsons movie. Exciting stuff huh.

Saturday, this is where the fun begins. We started off the day at Lowes to pick up some more topsoil for the wife's many gardens. Sidestory: So we're at Lowe's starring at all the toilets again, trying to pick one. First I notice that one of the toilets brand name is Plebe. Now if memory serves (Phil, David, Nancy, feel free to correct me) the plebeians were the lower class citizens of ancient Rome, the patricians the upper class. So why would you name your toilet after the lower class. If I'm trying to sell toilets, I'm naming them like Rolls Royce and Microsoft.. you know the best of the best. Anyway, we're standing there joking around trying to decide what to buy and this older couple (we thought in low 60's ended up being low 70's) comes over and starts looking at the toilets too. At one point, the lady leans over towards the wife and makes a joke about the toilets, round versus oblong bowl, etc. I say, I'm used to the round, so that's what I like (being lactose intolerant, I have to take my toilet choosing very seriously) and the gentleman says that he likes the oblong, but the wife likes the round so that's what they always get. So she says, "yeah, he always complains that there's not enough room on the round toilet, and I always tell him to just push "it" down." Umm what? Ahhh this is Lowes lady and that's a little too much information for us! Hilarious and scary all at the same time haha... but I digress...

After we got back, the wife started cleaning the house while I started work on the bathroom. Before I could start painting, the vanity and toilet had to come out. Here's a before picture of the bathroom. Notice the lovely blue walls.. and the lovely blue toilet.. and the lovely blue sink. Someone had a thing for blue I guess. The vanity is just white, maybe 30 years old, which a cheap counter top.

I decided to tackle the vanity first. Thought to myself, how hard could it be, I've done this before. I think it took me an hour and a half to get the stupid thing out. Caulk everywhere, random screws and a p trap from the 1950's (that's just a guess by the way) which had a will to live, it had no interest in coming out. Ooh, and the best part...NO FLOOR UNDERNEATH IT!!! Who does that? And as you can see, the pipes all come out of the floor, not the wall. Oy vey...

Because of the odd nature of the pipes, whomever installed it put a piece of plywood on the bottom. I don't own a reciprocating saw, so I had to resort to every method my infantile brain could muster up. Of course there was banging, then kicking, then swearing, then cutting, then more swearing... I ended up using giant gardening shears to cut out the wood. Hey, whatever works right..

The toilet was another misadventure. There were three issues here. First, we couldn't seem to get all the water out of the tank, so this led to some messiness. Second, the tank had zero interest in becoming disconnected from the intake pipe. And third, the brain surgeon that installed it used a combination of drywall screws and bolts to attach it to the floor. Long story short, I ended up having to break the porcelain around the bottom in order to remove it because the screws were so rusted that I couldn't get them off. I don't even want to talk about how nasty the wax ring was...

After everything was removed and I put up a coat of primer and two coats of paint up, the installing part came. That's the part where the wife is much better than I am. Together, we laid the first 3 tiles, then I went and played nine holes with my uncle and his nephew and the wife went to work tiling away. By the time I got back, she had finished 2/3 of the floor.

The floor on the right are the new tiles. On the left, the old crappy vinyl (its an off white with, of course, blue "grout" lines").
Don't mind the white dots, those are just the spacers. It really looks amazing though. When you see it in person, you'll be as proud as I am of the wife. Really, a fantastic job. I had my calling as a mason, she apparently had hers as a tiler. Tomorrow night after the grout dries, we'll install the toilet and vanity and next weekend we're going to retile the shower. Hopefully that'll go smoother than this weekend.

So I ended up playing golf both Saturday and Sunday, and for some reason I love the number six. Doesn't matter what the hole is, I shoot a six. Although my uncle's nephew gave me some tips (he's an excellent golfer) and I really cut down on my putting strokes. I'm consistently shooting in the high 40's right now (48-49) per nine holes, which for me is leaps and bounds better than I was last year. My goal is to break 90 (over 18 holes) by the end of the summer, which I think I have a very solid shot at doing. The thing with me is, I rush too much. I need to just take my time and follow through. Give me some Ritalin (that's what they give the ADD kids right) and I'll be the Maine Tiger Woods.

So while at Lowe's today, we gave blood. Ended up waiting almost 45 minutes for our turn to come up, but when it was finally our turn, off we went. While there, they take your blood pressure (me: 106 over 60, the wife, 106 over 62. apparently Maine relaxes us) and told us our blood type (me O-, the wife A+. Which means I'm universal and can save anyone. I'm good like that)

Tonight was spent at a family get together bbq at my other uncles house. Always love going over there cuz these are some of the funniest people you'll ever meet. The wife and I keep saying that someday we're going to record all the stories told and write a book...